Two words.

Not going to lie. This has been a rough month. A month that culminated with a few days that threw one challenge after another my way - each of which, although small - added up to make me feel for the first time since starting school that maybe ...

... I just can't do this.

How's that for honesty?

This entire time, I've been the one continuously reinforcing the mindset ... "We signed up for this. A nursing degree in 12 months. You can't expect it not to be hard, busy and incredibly inconvenient."

This mindset is what helped me accept the fact that I would have Saturday/Sunday clinical rotations throughout the month of October. But when I found out that my next rotation of clinicals lasting through November and most of December would also be on weekends, I was just plain - well, less than happy. I know. It's life. Deal with it.

I'm unapologetically committed to school. (I wouldn't have even made it this far in the program if I wasn't.) But this new reality was hard to swallow.

Add to that my first experience with a patient at the end of life. It's hard. Hard when one day, you are able to hold a conversation with your patient and the next morning, you enter the room and cannot get them to respond to your voice.

Like I said before - this past week has been a challenge. But it's been a challenge that has also helped me realize that even though I honestly sometimes can't imagine how I'm going to get through the next seven months ... I am so, so thankful. Thankful that I have this opportunity.

Why? How?

Because I was able to sit by and hold the hand of a wise lady, nearing the end of her life, and have a conversation about how much value she holds to her family. About how very much they must love her. About how she has undoubtedly been an inspiration to many people ... a young student nurse included.

So, I'm thankful for these challenges because of that opportunity.

And even though she wasn't able to talk to me the next day, I was able to wash and comb her hair so that she would be beautiful when her sweetheart of nearly 70 years came to see her for what may have been the last time.

I was thankful despite the challenges when right before I left for the day, she said to me two words that were the only comprehensible words that she had had the strength to speak that whole day ...

... "I'm okay."

It's simple, but it will stick with me.

And so, although this totally, 100% sucks sometimes ... I'm very thankful.